Managing Your Emotions

Seeking support and sharing your problem

Sharing your problem is the only way you won’t cut yourself off from friends and family members who love you and want to support you. Seeking help is not easy. Your self-esteem and ego will want to keep the problem a secret but it is more important for your long term mental heath to be apart of the community. You will have more success when treating incontinence if the ones around you are aware of your condition and can be there to support and motive you.

It is always good to know that people are always willing to help however they can’t help you if they don’t know what’s happening.

We are not saying that you should tell everyone you know, as not everyone has the same loving support that your close family members and friends have. You can still be discreet with who you tell and the people you tell should be trusted and understanding.

Once you have made the decision of who you are going to talk to about your condition it’s important that you pick the right time when there aren’t too many other distractions going on. It may be easier for you to take your loved one to the doctor with you so they can explain the condition in full medical detail. Ensure you have all the facts about the condition from what triggers the symptoms and how it affects you. It is a good idea to think about how they can help you and what they can do for you to assist you. 

What can be done?

Only you can know how you truly feel so it is important to be honest with yourself and if it is all becoming too much and you need emotional support but feel you can’t talk to your family there are many places you can turn to for help. It is also a good idea for serious cases to consider a physiologist, as they will help release the negative thoughts and stories the mind so easily creates when we are feeling down. 

Speak to the National Continence Helpline who are a free telephone advisory service provider. You can speak directly with a Continence Nurse Advisor who can provide you with information, education and advice. Ph: 1800 330 066 or visit

We also recommend healthy mind tips for keeping your mind active and choosing healthy thoughts along with Brain Training and Meditations.

  • Incontinence can have a devastating effect on our emotional health, psychological health and also social behaviour. Some people experience different emotional states and are suffering from embarrassment, frustration, anger, shame or even guilt. Incontinence can lead to someone experiencing isolation and alienation that leaves the person feeling unworthiness. This is a state of mind that no human being should have to suffer. These low vibrational emotions can have a negative effect on the mind and if left untreated can affect the entire human system by losing motivation and energy that can lead to more serious mental and physical problems. Developing a healthy understanding about the condition of incontinence and the affects it can have on the emotions is important for everyone involved. It is important to express yourself clearly with those you are close with about how you are feeling and without getting too emotional and frustrated so they are able to relate to you without confusion or tension. If tension builds, clear the air and let them know what is happening physically and emotionally. It is important to know that asking for emotional space or comfort when needed, is a far better than suffering in silence. Talking about our emotions is never easy but is essential for loving relationships, so we can see each other clearly.Build strength through exercise (working in and out) to lift your vibrations and vitality. Start by slowly changing your diet and eating healthy food that will overall improve your health and happiness. Take a look at Health and Diet!
  • Dealing with the embarrassment of incontinence is touchy subject because it is hard to point the finger and blame another. For most of us we would prefer to keep it a secret and not let anyone know that we are wearing a pad of some sort however the truth is how often did you notice someone wearing an incontinence aid prior to your awareness of incontinence? The answer would be never as they are discreet and no one would even know that they are there.If your concern is what will other people think of me? You should then take a look inside yourself to ask yourself this question. How would you feel if one of your family members told you that they were suffering from incontinence? You wouldn’t feel any different about them and definitely not in a negative way as you would do everything you could to help them with love and support. Your only concern would be about their health and you would want to help and assist them in anyway possible.If you are concerned about a fear of friends and the general publics knowledge, you can rest assured that no one will know you are wearing an incontinence pad or pants as you would never know if anyone else is wearing them. Most people are so caught up with there own lives and what they are doing they would never think to look for a pad or even notice that you have been visiting the bathroom more frequently.With the quality of disposable incontinence products around there is a minimised chance of spillage or someone picking up on an odour because most products can conceal and deodorise urine smells. If your urine is producing an overly strong smell you may be dehydrated or it could possibly be diet related and should be monitored. Pay attention to your diet and drinking habits. Changing pads and covers regularly is advised and for spills we recommend Urine Free to prevent unwanted odours. Go to Holistic Incontinence store in the skin care section for more details on Urine Free and other odour control products available.Faecal incontinence causes more of a problem and is best managed with regular checking and prompt cleaning. A clean up kit is essential, especially when leaving the house. This should consist of all the necessary aids, pads and change of clothes.